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Can’t Fall Asleep No Matter What? 8 Science Clues to Bring Your Brain Out of “Alarm Mode”

By Lilia Neuro TeamDecember 13, 20255 min read
Can’t Fall Asleep No Matter What? 8 Science Clues to Bring Your Brain Out of “Alarm Mode”

You probably know this feeling too well: you’re exhausted, but your mind won’t stop; the more you try to sleep, the more anxious you get; and at some point you start wondering, “Is my stress tolerance getting worse?”
A lot of the time, this has nothing to do with willpower. It’s more like your brain has slipped into a hypervigilant operating mode: it puts “safety” first, and pushes everything else—sleep, emotional steadiness, even planning and decision-making—into the background. Source:0‡Frontiers

This article has one goal: to give you a smoother storyline for why anxiety and insomnia so often live inside the same internal “alarm system.” Then, grounded in research, we’ll walk through simple, immediately doable ways to gently turn that alarm down.

Start with the core: you haven’t become “worse at coping”—you’re just “too on alert”

When you’re under pressure, expectation, or uncertainty, the brain can switch into a threat-detection–leaning mode (often described as hypervigilance/over-alertness). It helps you spot risks faster—but the trade-offs are blunt and familiar: it gets harder to plan, harder to stabilize your mood, and harder to truly relax into sleep. Source:1‡Frontiers

The eight clues below all orbit the same target:
send your brain “safety signals,” so it becomes willing to lower the alarm volume.

Clue 1: Start with the body—safety has to land in the body first

Hugs and touch: bringing your body back to “supported”

Touch (hugging, massage, leaning into someone, even gentle pressure) is often discussed alongside oxytocin. Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus and released into the bloodstream via the pituitary, and it’s linked to relaxation, trust, and stress regulation. Harvard Health also notes that touch behaviors like hugging can increase oxytocin and are associated with better psychological well-being. Source:2‡Harvard Health
A broader synthesis of research likewise suggests that touch-based interventions can modulate stress markers (like cortisol) and anxiety/depression-related states. Source:3‡Nature

Try this tonight:

  • If someone is nearby: give yourself a 20-second hug (or hug a pillow / use a weighted blanket). The point is simply “my body received a safety signal,” not “I must feel better immediately.”
  • If you’re not comfortable with touch: place both hands over your chest, or wrap one hand over the other. What matters is slow, steady, and tolerable.

Clue 2: Laughter carries weight—it acts like a “social safety switch”

Have you ever heard a friend’s particular laugh and found yourself laughing too? That’s very much in line with what laughter does: it often signals social connection.

Research suggests that genuine laughter can raise heart rate and energy expenditure compared with resting baseline (roughly a 10–20% increase). Source:4‡digibug.ugr.es
But the boundary matters: laughter shouldn’t be treated as a fat-loss hack. In that literature, the popular idea that “laughing 10–15 minutes a day burns X calories” has been corrected via an erratum; it’s more useful to think of laughter as a cue that tells the brain, “I’m in a safe social context,” which naturally softens threat perception. Source:5‡Nature

Try this tonight:

  • Avoid overstimulating short-form videos before bed—but allow 3–5 minutes of something that genuinely makes you laugh (not the “doom-info” kind).
  • The goal is a switch: from threat-scanning to social safety.

Clue 3: Nature is practical—it helps turn down the noise in your stress circuitry

When anxiety and poor sleep drag on, a common sticking point is this: your brain can’t quite believe it’s allowed to stop.
Nature (green spaces, gardening, outdoor time) is studied so often for a simple reason—it offers stimulation that is lower threat, more predictable, and slower in rhythm.

A large umbrella review suggests that gardening/horticultural therapy is positively associated with a range of well-being outcomes, quality of life, and mental health indicators such as depression and anxiety—while also noting that evidence quality varies and stronger trials are still needed. Source:6‡SpringerLink
Another review focused on nature exposure and physiological stress markers also supports links between contact with nature and reductions in stress-related physiology (including measures like cortisol). Source:7‡PMC

Try this tonight (even in the city):

  • 10 minutes: walk one loop downstairs, or stand by the window and watch tree shadows/sky (the keyword is slow).
  • If you want to level it up: build a weekend routine that’s repeatable (the same park route, for instance) so your brain can lean on predictability.

Clue 4: Mindfulness matters because it returns your attention to signals you can actually control

Many people hear “mindfulness” and think, “I can’t—I’m too noisy inside.” But mindfulness is less a personality trait and more a training: pulling attention out of a threat spiral and back into the present—back to signals you can sense and adjust.

A recent paper in Scientific Reports places meditation and physiological change on the same canvas: beyond psychological improvements, it also discusses pathways related to inflammation/biological aging and directions involving cardiovascular/microvascular function (the details and inferences still deserve careful reading, but it offers a “not just a nice feeling” physiological perspective). Source:8‡Nature

Try this tonight:

  • 5 minutes of breathing: inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds (slightly longer exhales).
  • You will get distracted—that’s normal. The only target is this: every time you drift, you return once.

Clue 5: You think your period must make you worse—research is seeing something more complicated

For people with anxiety and insomnia, the self-assessment loop often looks like: “I must be getting weak.” For many women, society stacks on another cliché: menstruation equals lower performance.
Recent research pushes back on that simplification: in certain cognitive tasks, women’s performance during menstruation was not necessarily worse—and in some tasks, it was even better; interestingly, many participants still felt menstruation had a negative impact. Source:9‡Harvard Health

But it’s important to include the other side honestly: if you have primary dysmenorrhea, research does observe structural/connectivity differences in brain regions related to pain and emotion processing across menstruation-related phases. This helps explain why period pain can tug at mood, sleep, and irritability—it’s not “being dramatic.” Source:10‡PMC

What you can take with you:

  • Stereotypes love to pre-label you as “definitely less capable.” You don’t have to follow them.
  • If pain disrupts sleep, treat it as a real body signal that deserves real care.

Clue 6: EEG and “cognitive control” are closer to fitness markers than IQ-style labels

Some research suggests that in demanding decision tasks, people with higher intelligence/fluid intelligence–related abilities show stronger functional connectivity in midfrontal Theta, with a moderate-to-strong correlation to intelligence measures. Source:11‡PubMed

The healthiest use of this kind of work is not “ranking people.” It’s a more humane lens:

When you’re anxious, sleep-deprived, and unfocused, it may not be that your ability disappeared. More often, your brain’s coordination efficiency is being disrupted by alarm mode.

Clue 7: Long-term resilience is built through lifestyle training—your brain can digest the ordinary

Bilingual/multilingual use: keeping memory systems plastic

In older adults, studies have linked long-term, active bilingual use with differences in hippocampal volume/preservation (designs and causal inference require caution, but the direction is worth noting). Source:12‡SpringerLink
If you want a reason to study a language: it’s a skill—and it may also function as long-term cognitive stimulation.

Eating rhythms: a note on intermittent fasting—safety first, then outcomes

A Johns Hopkins Medicine news release summarizes a clinical trial: among middle-to-older adults with obesity and insulin resistance, both intermittent fasting and healthy eating were associated with cognitive improvements, with the intermittent fasting group showing larger gains in memory and executive function (the release also notes that certain populations should consult clinicians first to avoid risks). Source:13‡Hopkins Medicine

Clue 8: Loneliness isn’t a small emotional issue—it has a statistical distance from brain risk

If the first half of this article is about “turning down the alarm,” social connection is more like “making safety bigger.”
A large meta-analysis reports a significant association between loneliness and increased dementia risk (a statistical risk does not mean an individual destiny; it’s a reminder that connection is a protective factor for the brain). Source:14‡Nature

A gentle reminder for anxious insomniacs:
You don’t have to become extroverted to “have social support.” What you need is consistent, predictable, low-pressure connection: a friend you can message, a coworker you can walk with, or a weekly group activity.

A “10-minute de-alarm routine” you can use tonight

  1. 3 minutes of breathing: in 4, out 6 (slightly longer exhale)
  2. 1 minute of supportive touch: hug a pillow / weighted blanket / hand over chest
  3. 3 minutes of nature cues: watch tree shadows or the sky (no phone)
  4. 3 minutes of social safety: send one message to a reliable person—with no need for a reply (e.g., “I’m a bit tired today, and I’m practicing slowing down.”)

This routine has just one purpose: give your nervous system evidence that “right now, I’m safe.”

FAQ

Q1: I’m very anxious—will these actually help insomnia?

They don’t take the “instant knock-out” route. They help your brain shift into a state that’s more compatible with rest. Touch and connection, nature exposure, and breathing/mindfulness all work on the same core: offering safety cues so the brain becomes willing to lower the alarm volume. Source:15‡Nature

Q2: I thought laughing 15 minutes burns a lot of calories?

Laughter can raise heart rate and energy expenditure, but calorie estimates have been corrected in the literature. A better framing is to use laughter as a tool for “social safety” and stress regulation—not as a fat-burning strategy. Source:16‡Nature

Q3: During my period, am I really worse at thinking?

Recent research suggests that at least in some cognitive tasks, performance during menstruation isn’t necessarily worse and may even be better; if you experience period pain, pain can indeed interact with mood and brain-related mechanisms and deserves serious care. Source:17‡Harvard Health

References

Important note: This article provides general wellness information and does not replace medical advice. If insomnia or anxiety is persistent and affects daily life, or if you have severe pain or emotional distress, please consider seeking professional support.

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